UNGLOOM 2021

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So, since about 37 days ago, I’ve been writing a tiny song a day.

What’s a tiny song? A little demo-like song that takes under an hour to record, and lasts for less than a minute. Tiny song. The aim is to do 100.

The purpose of this 100 Tiny Songs project is to lean harder into my niche as a songwriter. I recently had a mentor tell me that I was good at writing weird, observational little songs. This mentor told me it was what endeared her to my work. And it would be what endeared a lot of other people to me, too.

That wasn’t the first time I’d heard that opinion, but at the time I found it weird — I thought people preferred my slow, sad, acoustic stuff? My heartbreaks on train platforms and my little-too-personal lyrics?

No, it was my short songs about petting dogs and businessmen ordering steaks that had the “spark.”

I’ve always loved being funny and making strange things. When I was a kid I wrote songs about poisonous plants, yodelling goats and a big pop number about Santa Claus which sounded a lot like Culture Club’s ‘Karma Chameleon.’ When I started writing songs and gigging, I made upbeat stuff and a lot of the things I put on Bandcamp were little vignettes about my life, in the form of quirky little songs.

As the years went on, I started to think that I needed to go deeper, more serious, more heart-wrenching. People liked sad stuff. My voice sounded great when I was singing about rain. The holes in my guitar skills didn’t show when I played slower. And the producers who worked with me encouraged me to make the serious, sad, acoustic stuff. Their approval made me feel like this “emotional artist” personality was my true sound.

The problem with this is that so many artists in the acoustic singer-songwriter genre are making the same stuff. The thing that my mentor labelled as “slow self-analysis ballads.” I cringed to hear my songs put in that category, but I knew that it was partly true. I was conforming to a sound that was beautiful and easy, but it was everywhere. And although it was me, it wasn’t the most exciting thing about me.

As I grow older, I realise that the whole point of being an artist is to look outside yourself. To notice things about life. Of course our own perspectives and experiences are important — they’re what give our work it’s own personality and sound. But it really is about interacting with and responding to the real world, not just navel-gazing and hoping someone will join in with you.

Gloom is not my personal brand. I am going to Un-Gloom this year, in fact. Through the first third of this Tiny Song project I’ve realised that people like it when I make fun things. People like it when I share my sense of humour and my daily observations through my songs.

Basically, what I’m trying to say is:

YOU DON’T NEED TO MAKE SAD STUFF TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY.

Now, time to ungloom.

Wasting Time

My Plan for 2021

gouache sunset

2021 is coming and, unlike every other New Years’ Eve I’ve experienced, I don’t have any resolutions. I’ve not even had any major desire to look back over 2020 and reminisce.. Normally by this point I’d have the notebooks out and would be tallying up my highlights and achievements like a Personal Report Card from the Universe.

Standing at the threshold, at the end of what has been A Bad Year, I’m wary of Another Bad Year looming. I mean, if 2020 has taught me anything, it’s that stuff can always get worse. I know there’s that phrase that goes, “it’s always darkest before the dawn,” but I feel like this year I’m wearing sunglasses in a cave. For everyone, this year has seen our lives shuddering to a halt: we’ve been separated from our friends, partners and families; we’ve lost money, lost certainty, lost people.

We know we’ve got at another year of weirdness to come. And after this virus slows down… what’s next? What’s waiting round the corner?

At school I picked up trophies for music composition, drama and english. But I was never recognised for my one, true academic passion: worrying. God, I can worry as if my life depended on it (which I guess is what worrying is, anyway? thinking your life depends on everything). One of my major worries over this year was time. Time we’re losing, time we’ve lost. Using time well. Securing future time by making your life time-loss-proof. I’m sure there’s a better word for that.

I’m starting a project in 2021 that will explore the concept of time, particularly wasted time. This might mean time that’s genuinely been taken away from us (by illness, death or, oh I don’t know… a pandemic?), or time we conceive as wasted (the wrong relationship, the wrong body/gender, years of chasing a defunct dream or years of indecision). And through a climate'-charged lens: have we, as humans, wasted our time on earth?

It’s heavy-hitting stuff! I mean, as I’m reading over this whole post I’m like, “Jesus Olivia, that’s a one-way ticket to Downtown. As in, the town where you feel down all the time.” But the main point of me doing this is to try and answer the question — can we make this a good thing? Is wasted time a good thing? And if it’s not a good thing, then how can we make it good, or better for the people experiencing it? How can we re-frame it?

Ultimately what I want to do is then present these questions and answers in a format which might be a podcast, or a concept album, or a stage show, even. My first port of call in the new year is to start talking to people and recording our conversations. And to keep writing here to share what I’m learning and ask questions.

Another question I have at the moment is, “How does any of this relate to what I do as an artist?” My current projects are writing 100 Tiny Songs and a few songs which may either be released as an EP or as singles next year. I already have some connections to make with both of those projects to the idea of wasted time. I’ll write about them here.

Anyway, hang tight, happy new year and don’t worry too much,

Olivia.